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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23541973">Lie Alone Together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchOverYourAssButt/pseuds/Lies-Angst-N-Rainbow-Crowns'>Lies-Angst-N-Rainbow-Crowns (WatchOverYourAssButt)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angry Deceit, Angst, Arguing, Gen, Implied Anxiety, Quarantine, References to Depression, Sad Patton, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, and all the warnings that apply to Remus which are--, and near nudity implied, angry Virgil, angsty deceit, angsty sides, angsty virgil, anxiety mention, crude language and suggestions, dark side history, dark side mention, mentions of mild to medium gore, naming deceit, personal headcanons sprinkled in, sanders sides and quarantine angst, sorry virgil</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:15:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23541973</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchOverYourAssButt/pseuds/Lies-Angst-N-Rainbow-Crowns</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas is stuck at home, like any other Youtuber and non-Youtuber, and just as anyone else, is doing his best to thrive as he normally would. But the pandemic sweeping the world was simply not a norm for most of society today, and no one seems to know how to handle it perfectly.</p><p>Not even the Sides. As Thomas is finding his productivity and positivity shaken, the Sides come together to focus him towards his responsibilities, to make the best of what this situation can offer. But as Thomas begins to lash out, is it that they have gone too far, or that he is being far too selfish? Or is there more to it than meets the eye?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Sides &amp; The Sides (Sanders Sides), Thomas Sanders &amp; The Sides</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lie Alone Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>K, so, many a Disclaimer, but first--this Author's Note is going to be a little lengthy.</p><p>1. as I post this, I am only a month or so into my fandom of this amazing, insightful, and fun content and I am very excited for this story and my purpose for it, but it is also my first time playing all the Sides. If they are a bit off, I apologize and just hope that they fit well enough to carry the plot! It started as a roleplay plot, but I decided to expand upon it with my own view as well.<br/>2. as suggested in the tags, it involves angst, arguing and discussion between the sides, as well as the repeated mention of the current situation of quarantine with the COVID-19 situation affecting us all (so if such stress events are something you wish to avoid, please do consider avoiding this because its mild attempt at addressing the situation may still be uncomfortable to those just trying to escape)*. There is also mention and allusion to depression and the experience of it, and the very flamboyantly R (for Remus) rated moments. Also the tag says Sympathetic Deceit, but I personally don't feel he's naturally unsympathetic so I'm not keen on using the tag, but felt it best to do it anyways, so anyone who doesn't approve of such views of Deceit can avoid content involving him in a sympathetic light, or to help those searching for specific content.<br/>2.1* Please, take care of yourself, be considerate of others with keeping your distance, and take care of yourself and your health by taking precautions with washing your hands thoroughly for thirty minutes, using hand sanitize, and disinfecting as needed.<br/>3. There are little headcanons littered through out this, some stated clearly and some alluded to, so I hope they work well enough that you still enjoy the story (Dark Side HC, Patton The Decider HC, Sides HC, Name HC*). *The name headcanon for Deceit was, honestly, just filler. Where it was added in, I felt it could offer some feeling to the moment and I like the name, but do not really assume or vy for it to be his actual name (I put Damien, but re-edited after SvS Part 2).<br/>4. it, uh, be long. 24 pages in Google Docs, specifically, so be prepared for a long read, depending on your norm.</p><p>With that finished, please enjoy, sorry for the long Note, but I just wanted to clarify things!<br/>Take care, all you awesome Fanders!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>LIE ALONE TOGETHER</strong>
</p><p>~</p><p><em>"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival."</em> <strong><em>-Audre Lorde</em></strong></p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Quarantine was being issued all over, and Florida was no exception. When it hit Thomas’ neighborhood, most were already preparing (half appropriately and half excessively). Thomas had stocked on quick food fixes and bought other essentials, as with Virgil’s very busy schedule right now, there was no way he could ignore the thoughts of What If. Logan and Patton of course were there to encourage his consideration in ONLY buying what was necessary when it was necessary, rather than robbing others by stocking up.</p><p>He checked on his friends every day, in the morning and then evening, after it was announced. He and Patton couldn’t bear the idea of any of the people he loved thinking he wasn’t concerned, about the situation OR them. And in the days during, he found himself catching up for some hours in a manner he hadn’t in some time, and it was refreshing.</p><p>He found himself already planning a few videos, as well, both from previous ideas he wanted to execute soon enough as well as a few short videos specified to the current state of things; Logan and Roman worked well and hard, to produce work that was interesting and distracting, whilst offering something of use to his viewers in the current state of things. It may have left him with more short videos on his channel rather than proper, lengthy videos in his usually scattered manner. But it was something.</p><p>Thomas was trying his best. But it was as that second weekend drew nearer, that his habits were already beginning to shift, and that the real weight of the pandemic as well as the rest of the idiocy and craziness in the world was pressing down upon him.</p><p> </p><p>That is where the change began.</p><p> </p><p>Thomas’ idea notepad lay open and abandoned, the clock ticking to two in the afternoon, and he sat comfortably on his couch, seeming to be planning what pizza he was going to order for tonight. There were some dishes clean and drying from earlier this morning, but some were waiting to be washed. The house needed a bit of straightening, but it seemed to be at what Thomas labeled tolerable. </p><p>He was relaxed on his couch in rather lax clothes (one of his flowery shirts and baggy sweatpants), about to press play on The Princess Bride, (made clear by the location of the remote right beside him) after he finished making the order on his phone.</p><p>“Ehemm.”</p><p>The sound of the clearing throat somehow possessed a perceptible tone of contempt, and Thomas sighed, resisted an eye roll, and smiled weakly as his grip on his phone lessened. When he spoke, his voice was a tad tense, but mostly normal. “Hey, Logan…” </p><p>“Do I really have to say it, Thomas? I’m certainly happy to, but I have to express my concern that I even need to…” the force of Logic spoke to him in his usual tame tone, adjusting his glasses. For the moment, he was the first Side clearly present, which the man on the couch usually preferred. One voice of likely judgment was enough.</p><p>Thomas lowered his phone into his lap, not bothering looking to the uniform-clad Side, his free hand inching towards the TV remote to fiddle around with it. “I know, I know…” </p><p>Logan noticed the avoidance of eye contact, but took it as some guilt that was festering at the moment. He couldn’t quite feel from Thomas right now, but he assumed there was a purpose to that. Perhaps Thomas was employing some of Patton’s methods of covering up? But it clearly wasn’t severe, or they’d know it. Things felt...tame? Perhaps that wasn't the right word or assessment...</p><p>He sighed then and went to work with his lecture. “You have food here, and this is certainly not a time for indulgences, not knowing what each new day could bring you in ways of financial surprises and changes. You need to be more thoughtful here, Thomas.” </p><p>“I know.” Thomas said, just a tad firmer.</p><p>There was an awkward silence, with Logan looking between the kitchen, and Thomas, then between Thomas and his phone. He narrowed his eyes. “…Are you…going to log off the delivery app, then?”</p><p>Thomas stared at his phone, then just barely glanced at Logan, then shrugged. “..I…maybe…”</p><p>“Maybe? This is more of a do or do not scenario, Thomas.” Logan pointed out, then waved to the kitchen. “I believe Patton was eagerly talking up that, ah, ramen you have? He’s apparently experiencing what seems to be a nostalgia-infused craving. Absurd and not a perfectly healthy meal to crave, but, it’s one of your options that won’t waste extra money.”</p><p>Thomas sighed and put down his phone. “I know, I was considering it earlier, I just didn’t…feel like it.”</p><p>Right on cue, of course, the second bespectacled Side made his appearance with a tender smile, and a barely noticeable but unusually tired look in his eyes. “Well, kiddo, you have to get some food in you before you get back to that work of yours, and Logan is right—as good as pizza sounds, you should save that money for emergencies. You could need something far more important than pizza. Or what if a friend or family needed some help, huh? You could at least wire them money, if you have it available.”</p><p>Thomas seemed to tense at Patton’s reasoning of having money available to help others, but he then put down the remote, glancing at his notepad, before shrugging. “I don’t…know. I was considering just…skipping my work today…?” he glanced to both of them. Patton looked almost disappointed, and Logan looked surprised.</p><p>Before he began wagging his finger in a very stern teacher fashion. “Oh, no no. Your work is perfectly suitable for continuing during a time like this. You’ve delayed too much lately, and you have no distractions now. This is the time to make the most of a difficult situation.”</p><p>Thomas scoffed, but said nothing, so Logan finished by simply saying, “There’s no need to avoid any work.”</p><p>“But what if there is?” Thomas tried to reason.</p><p>Patton offered a smile then. “We know how you feel, Thomas-“</p><p>“Speak for yourself.” Logan interjected.</p><p>“… Well, I know how you feel but, come on! It’s just another hurdle and we’ve made it over each one together!” he pumped his fist, his gaze imploring Thomas, who could barely keep eye contact with him. “You’ll feel better once you finish, productivity always gives you a nice boost. So whataya say? How about we, eh…hurdle together and get this day rolling!”</p><p>Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, but said nothing.</p><p>Thomas sat up, looking at his notebook again, before his gaze flitted to the TV remote again. “But—“</p><p>“Is this a creativity matter, Thomas? I know it’s been rough, with…Remus’ very colorful interruptions, but surely Roman and you could manage to work something out. I’m certainly willing to continue our collaborations, if that might help.” Logan offered, becoming more and more determined in his mission to get Thomas doing something rather than…what he was doing now. It almost seemed like…moping.</p><p>Thomas just shook his head, then looked towards Roman’s usual spot. “…I…I’ve thought about it, but he’s not…available right now.”</p><p>“Strange. Are you sure?” Patton questioned. “Maybe he just needs a proper, hero-suited invo-duction, the silly, gussied-up goose.” He chuckled, then cupped his mouth then. “Oh where oh where is our rainbow royal of creativity, the handsomest Prince Roman~?!!”</p><p>“UP YOUR @$&amp; AND AROUND THE CORNER, YA DORK!” came an energetic voice from the void of Roman’s space, followed by Roman’s grunting. “How DARE you besmirch Patton with your clever but cruel words, you <em>FIEND!!</em>”</p><p>Thomas rubbed his temple then back behind his ear, as Patton and Logan shared looks of concern and confusion.</p><p>“Was that…” Logan began, only for Patton to continue, “Remus and Roman…?”</p><p>Thomas nodded and groaned. “They’ve been wrestling around constantly… I don’t know how to split them up, I just thought maybe they need to…work it out or whatever.”</p><p>“So one of <em>them</em> is still lingering…” Logan sighed, and Thomas’ eye flitted towards him quickly, and away just as quickly.</p><p>Patton sighed, shaking his head. “Well that’s not good… But, still! Surely you’ve settled on some ideas, right? It’s been a few days, you worked out a few projects, didn’t ya?”</p><p>Thomas shrugged. “A few, sure.”</p><p>“Then we should be selecting something and beginning the process.” Logan pointed out.</p><p>“I know, I just… I think maybe we can just make a different…plan for today.”</p><p>“No no, we have our schedule, Thomas. We’ve been doing much better with that schedule.”  Logan pointed out adamantly. “You’re just being lazy, as is a habit with you.”</p><p>“Can you chill, Logan?” Thomas retorted, tone and features almost annoyed as he shot the logical Side a look, mouth tense in an almost-frown.</p><p>And he was taken aback, but sighed with resignation. “I see this is going to be a situation where Patton must be the go-between to get you to see sense.”</p><p>“Or maybe sometimes how I feel is right, and I don’t need you.” Thomas countered suddenly.</p><p>Logan was even more shocked by that remark and could almost seem hurt. Patton was just as shocked, and concerned for Logan’s feelings as well as Thomas’ unusual attitude and it's cause. He spoke up then. “Hey, Thomas… Let’s take a few breaths, bud. You know…Logan’s just looking out for you, like we all do. Is it…really necessary to be snapping at him like that?”</p><p>“…Maybe it is.” Thomas responded. “Maybe, for once, I am dealing with feeling things, that I am allowed to feel, and we don’t need to fix it like every other time. Maybe you should just leave me alone.”</p><p>“…Maybe so.” Logan retorted, giving Thomas one last look, then Patton, before he dipped out.</p><p>And no sooner did he dip down, did the purple-patched Side rise to make his appearance, looking upset as he did so.</p><p>“You’re filtering me, too, Thomas?” Virgil critiqued, his gaze questioning Thomas silently, clearly annoyed and confused by all of this. He'd sensed the distress from his friends, but it was as if Thomas was closed off.</p><p>“H-hey! Hey Virgil!” Patton waved eagerly, and Virgil gave a moment of notice, waving back.</p><p>“Really harsh. Gotta be worried, if you’re shutting up Logic, huh? What if he decides to keep his distance for a while? What if we need him desperately right now and you’re just being childish?” Virgil began his usual list that he felt necessary to present during half his arrivals to their little meetings. “And as for your work, what if you fall too far behind? You could get in a funk, and you’re still horrible with scheduling posts--this could make it worse. You’re being really irresponsible with the future, Thomas. You can't possibly know how this will affect those waiting for your content.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine, I just need a break…” he stated firmly, seeming as if he were containing something, and that is when he sat forward, and turned on the movie, settling in. Food seemed to be forgotten, as he was now trying to busy his mind with the wild adventures of his movie therein.</p><p>Virgil groaned, then looked to Patton. “What is up with him? Why is he so off? I’m usually not the most stern one about this, but I agree, he needs to be keeping to his schedule. It’s not going to be healthy, just…sitting around, letting work pile up to where it's just crushing down on us later....”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m…not sure. He’s been a little emotional off and on lately, but it’s started to…fog over. Perhaps he’s feeling too much? Oh no, what if he’s sick?!” Patton assessed, then panicked, looking to Thomas and throwing his arms out. “Thomas, THE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP, HURRY!! ...With a soda on the side, if you want!”</p><p>Virgil rubbed his temple. “It’s weird for me, too… I mean, I’ve got my theories and concerns running, but it’s not...festering in Thomas like it usually does? Maybe he is sick... Oh god, what if he--”</p><p>“I’m not sick, so don’t even start with the pandemic-flavored doomsday theories, Virgil.” Thomas spoke up then, face focused on the TV, but clearly paying attention to more than that. </p><p>“How he can hear us when he’s watching TV, I don’t get, he’s usually rather ADHD-stracted.” Patton whispered to Virgil, who scoffed a laugh at the classically horrible yet decent pun.</p><p>“Where’s Roman?” he asked, and Patton sighed.</p><p>“Wrestling Remus, apparently. Should we be helping…?” he asked, seeming concerned, looking towards the TV where grunts and curse words and clashing of weapons were heard now and again.</p><p>“I think we should be focusing on Thomas, though I don’t like that Remus is even lingering.” Virgil sighed.</p><p>“Hypocrite.” </p><p>Virgil and Patton looked to Thomas, surprised by the muttered word that had come from his mouth. His eyes were still trained on the movie. But he had spoken that...hadn’t he? Virgil was a bit hurt, and uncomfortable with him saying that, suddenly sinking into the fears that had been trying to over take him. His mind began reeling, over his recently-developed persistent fear ever since he confessed his Dark past to Thomas. After things during their Frozen watching fiasco of anxiety fueled conversation, he thought things were...okay. He thought perhaps, Thomas...told him...things were okay.</p><p>He shrunk down on the stairs, pulling his hood over his head as he was trying to halt his thoughts, only to feel as if they shoved him down a hill, spiraling out of control.</p><p>Patton noticed and pouted, concerned, feeling the weight of responsibility here, as he just wanted to make all his friends feel better. No matter what, he had to fix this. He was the only one available, clearly… Oh, he wished Logan and Roman could help him, but he couldn’t force them back. He knew he wasn’t usually allowed to, in these little meetings, but Patton crossed through to Virgil’s spot, putting a careful but firm hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Kiddo, it’s okay… It’s not as bad as it seems. Alright? We’ve got this, we can figure it out! You just….breath, and I’ll talk to Thomas.” </p><p>He had noticed Virgil’s heightened levels lately, and how he tried to tame it, and he didn’t think this was a good time for mean words. He looked to Thomas, arms crossing in the only version of Stern Dad his soft self could manage. “Okay, Thomas. Come on, lets talk this out. It...seems to me like you’re lashing out.” He assessed. “Surely you’re not...meaning to make people feel bad, but--”</p><p>“Why shouldn’t I? You’re all making ME feel bad. I’m lazy, I’m immature, I’m stupid for wanting to make the wrong choices. I’m SELFISH, aren’t I, Patton?!” he suddenly snapped at his morality, who’s eyes went wide as he backed off in surprise.</p><p>“Thomas…”</p><p>“You’re all SO concerned with <em>helping</em> me, but you’re not really doing ANYTHING!” he snapped, standing then, hair in a bit of disarray as he walked to the center of the living room. “You’re helping fit me into all your own little boxes of the Perfect Thomas, but that’s it.” Thomas stated, then scoffed, rolling his eyes at Patton, who shrunk more at such...strange and angry behavior from Thomas. “They learned that from you, Pat…”</p><p>“What is your deal, huh..?!” Virgil spoke up again, still hidden in his hoody, but he shot a glare at Thomas. “Patton only ever looks out for you, and you’re being a jerk! It’s one thing to act like that to me, but--”</p><p>Thomas laughed, a surprisingly heightened laugh, that sent chill bumps across the backs of their necks, mingling with their shock. “Looks out for me? He looks out for my feelings, making sure all the good feelings are on top, covering up or throwing away everything else until it festers. You know what his need for only good, pure crap does--or are you so deep in your act that you’ve forgotten the past you just confessed to me?”</p><p>Virgil stood, looking like he wanted to say something, but wanted to run at the same time. He was taking deep, careful breaths and lingering for the moment, though. Patton’s shoulders slumped, and where he previously crossed his arms, he now held himself.</p><p>Thomas just scoffed and shook his head. “You’re all hypocrites. I can be happy, but only if I follow set rules...I can’t just seek it for myself. I can’t just BE myself, for me. It has to be worrying about my future, worrying about the work I wear myself out with, or the friends I toss my heart out to. Never just <em> me </em>.”</p><p>“T-that’s not true, Thomas.” Patton tried to state.</p><p>“Don’t lie, Patton.” Thomas snapped, voicing deepening. “It’s unlike you…”</p><p>Virgil softly gasped, and straightened up. “No... How...how can you even…?”</p><p>Patton was upset, and confused, looking between the two. “Virge?”</p><p>“You can’t be..” he growled, standing taller, and throwing off the hood of his jacket. </p><p>“Can’t be what? What’s going on? C-can we please just..take some space, just...stop this?” Patton asked carefully, feeling very uneasy. He didn’t like feeling this way, and he was finding it hard to...act like it was better. He didn’t like anyone feeling angry or upset or uneasy, and he was impatient dealing with it himself.</p><p>Thomas then smirked at Patton, chuckling softly. “Can we? To save your feelings, Patton? To make it easier? That’s how it must be, right? For you...the Split had to happen. The names, hidden. The past. Purposes denied… It’s always <em> you </em>.”</p><p>“Stop!” Virgil barked defensively.</p><p>“Please, stop.” Patton winced and backed up, hiding his face then, on the verge of dipping out, but he was too concerned about his friends and the matter at hand to leave. He was simply too overwhelmed to understand or know what to do.</p><p>“I don’t know how you’re doing this, but that’s enough! Where is Thomas?!” Virgil suddenly demanded, and Patton looked up, confused by his words. Thomas was...right there! Wasn’t he?</p><p>He adjusted his glasses. “Virgil, what--”</p><p>“Where is he!?”</p><p>“No need to go all Bale Batman, Virge~” Thomas stated, and laughed. He looked to Patton then, still somewhat smirking, but feigning a regretful attitude. “I wouldn’t have had to resort to such measures, were it not for all the many limits set by SOME people. But desperate times, and all that. You don’t listen otherwise.”</p><p>“What are you..?” Patton was still confused, but it was beginning to set in...as the way Thomas’ mouth pulled into a smirk, it...it just didn’t fit him. And a chill ran down his spine. “Oh no…”</p><p>“Oh yes.” Thomas nodded.</p><p>Virgil then made to go at him, but suddenly a hand gripped his left shoulder...and he looked to see Logan, back again, and staring sternly at <strike>Thomas</strike>.</p><p>“It’s no use. It wouldn’t affect him. All our current state in Thomas’ mind is good for, is talking…” he told Virgil.</p><p>“Our current state?” Patton asked, stepping closer to the other two as the three faced <strike>Thomas</strike>’ smirking figure.</p><p>Logan pushed up his glasses, moving so that he stood before Patton and Virgil. “We’re not working in Thomas’ conscious mind. He’s asleep right now. This is the part of his subconscious that works through issues, and at times influences the content of dreams in the process--but it’s been decorated...very, very well, with great detail, to mimic Thomas’ conscious mind...to disguise the truth.”</p><p>“Well, half the purpose of disguises in literature are for the unmasking, am I wrong?” <strike>Thomas</strike> asked, his posture familiar but not like him--it was unnerving the others, as he propped his elbow on his left arm that wrapped across his chest, his free hand tapping the side of his face. “In the unmasking, the truth is revealed, and the characters are enlightened and have grown from the discovery and it’s all so very <em> wonderful </em>.” he wiggled his fingers.</p><p>“There is nothing light about lies!” Patton retorted from behind Logan.</p><p><strike>Thomas</strike> grinned, quirking his head. “You would know--do you ever feel light, when you lie to yourself? Of all my crimes, at least I never committed THAT one.” </p><p>“Enough.” Virgil growled. “Stop this disguise--Thomas deserves better respect than this.”</p><p>“Oh, I agree, but you all stand blind towards any other approach. So I had to do what I had to do.” he muttered, then shook his shoulders, form shifting into the black and yellow clad Side--Deceit. He eyed the three of them, two-faced features holding their familiar amused layer, but there was a...tenseness that was rarely there unless he was bordering on impatient.</p><p>“What did you do to Thomas?!” Patton demanded, slightly pushing past Logan.</p><p>Deceit laughed, and clapped. “Oh, look! NOW you care for the individual instead of the abstract, and at the proper moment! And all it takes is a pandemic, <em>Pat</em>?”</p><p>“Calm down, Patton.” Logan advised with a cool tone, grabbing his arm.</p><p>Deceit rolled his eyes, folding his arms behind his back. “I did nothing to Thomas, other than place far more obscure suggestions to him than what you all shove down his gullet, over the past week. And I took advantage of stress-induced weariness--he’s so worn out, he’s locked in a deep slumber of his body and mind's own doing.. You really need to remove that habit of repression.” he shot Patton a look. “You’ve done plenty of damage with it thus far, but now you’re rubbing off worse on Thomas. None of you even noticed what was <em> so clear </em> to me.”</p><p>Patton shrunk back again, his defiance wavering as a cloud of guilt and worry came over him as he wondered if there was truth to Deceit's words. He usually didn't believe him, but Thomas had been differently lately... Virgil sighed, not sitting well with his best friend being affected by...<em> him </em>. He thought, after everything he went through, he’d left all this behind, and could be free, save a few invasive moments. But it was all getting out of hand lately--Thomas and the wedding/callback fiasco, Thomas’ struggle and shift with Remus’ presence, and so many other things... He still hated how he failed to protect Thomas. He and Patton had tried so hard. Patton only wanted to keep Thomas safe and pure, and Virgil clung to that. It was….safer for him, that way.</p><p>He noticed he was still being held back by Logan’s arm. While lost in his thoughts, Virgil had tried stepping forward. He was a bit annoyed with being held back but Logan shot him a look, something that clearly questioned Virgil’s awareness. And he remembered what he said--they could do nothing but talk here. Though it made him wonder what the hell Remus and Roman were doing, then, if not actually fighting. Or perhaps fighting wouldn’t make an impact, nor would it get rid of them? Or else Roman surely would’ve dealt with Remus already... He wouldn't put it past Deceit to think to keep a few of them busy, using Remus.</p><p>“Let’s not waste time with any riddles and delayed answers, alright? You have a point, Deceit, get to it.” Logan spoke then. </p><p>Deceit chuckled. “You deny me every chance I get and the moment you ask for what I’m here to provide, you think I’ll do as you please? Ha!” he shook his head, faking wiping a tear. “Oh, no. No, you’re going to have to work for the truth. Come on, Scooby Gang, surely those pretty little brains and hearts of yours can come together to unmask the ‘fiend’.”</p><p>“Alright then.” Logan said, and the other two looked to him, about to complain, when Logan summoned a circular table, the three of them sitting on one side, with Deceit sitting on the other half of the circle, two empty chairs on either side of him. Logan opposite deceit had Patton to his right, and Virgil to his left. “Then let's make this a conversation shall we? With ALL of us. All the Sides bearing Presence, at least.”</p><p>Deceit smirked. “Now that sounds like a party.”</p><p>“Party?!” A flourish of green and black appeared in the chair between Deceit and Virgil, while a flourish of red and white appeared between Deceit and Patton. “A nude party, I hope--shall I get the cards for strip poker?” Remus offered eagerly, purple-shaded eyes looking at the group. He was pleased to be here, clearly.</p><p>Deceit chuckled, but waved Remus off. “Don’t bother, they’re not that fun.”</p><p>“I’ll show YOU fun!” Roman threatened pointless, looking more ruffled than Remus (who wore disheveled as a style at times).</p><p>Deceit quirked an eyebrow at Roman, amused. “Will you, Princey?”</p><p>Roman stuttered, before Logan cleared his throat to focus attention, now that they were all present and gathered. He looked at them all--Virgil was uncomfortable, and could barely sit still. Patton was upset and concerned, looking smaller than usual with his slumped posture. Roman was clearly annoyed and shaken up, looking ready to argue if not physically fight. Deceit simply looked pleased with himself, even eager, albeit tamely so. And Remus looked like a bouncing child in his chair. Logan himself was relaxed and patient, already working through how this conversation might go, theorizing Deceit’s purpose over and over.</p><p>And none of them dared mention how any of them thought, in the back of their minds, it had been so long since they were all here, together. Like it was another life, that was forced to be forgotten.</p><p>“Well, Logan, do begin.” Deceit waved his hand invitingly, only for Remus to speak up, “Now that the cats out of the furball bag, can I throw up the hanging limb wall decorations I mentioned earlier? Oh, they would look like abstract art over the couch, don’t you think? And they can all be flipping birds!!” </p><p>“Perhaps later in Thomas’ dream-scape, as a treat for your hard work helping me with the room.” Deceit patted Remus’ hand, but was clearly not giving full attention to his outburst, as if it were the norm to placate him and leave it be. It seemed natural between them, enough so that Remus didn’t persist.</p><p>“Poopy…” Remus muttered sadly, resting his chin on his hands, as Logan finally spoke up.</p><p>“So you’ve escalated, into disguising the entire situation AND our Thomas, instead of just yourself as one of us.” Logan assessed. “Why?”</p><p>“I enjoy the theatrics.” Deceit said, tipping his hat towards Remus and Roman, before putting it back. </p><p>“So you’re really going to draw this out, aren’t you?” Logan sighed, fixing his glasses. </p><p>“I would <b> <em>literally</em> </b> draw it for you all, but even then, you wouldn’t get it.” Deceit retorted, smile a little more tense and clearly forced, as if he were just...putting it on. Remus was suddenly in the background, with a vision of Thomas sleeping on his couch as he said, “Let’s draw a D*%# on his face!”</p><p>Roman rolled his eyes, wishing he could just...muzzle Remus. Deceit noticed his frustration, and just laughed and shook his head, before focusing on Logan once again, taking clear notice of the attitude and concern from Patton to Logan’s right and Virgil’s annoyance and discomfort to his left.</p><p>“You four seem to work well with theatrics and immersion, I thought I would give it another go on a greater scale. Or is it that you all respond better when your egos are stroked?” Deceit questioned, tapping his chin.</p><p>“Well anyone would be left with a better, more positive mood and outlook if they experienced any invigorating happiness.” Logan reasoned.</p><p>“So <em> true </em>, Logan.” he clapped twice. “Just as true as Virgil’s yearning for the silence of the dark, correct?” he then looked to the purple and patchwork Side, something deep in his gaze, and the two seemed to glare at one another.</p><p>“No surprise, you’re lying again. How do we know you’re not just taking over Thomas’ subconscious to disturb him, just for YOUR neglected ego?” Virgil remarked questioningly. He waved to Remus. “You already sent <em> him </em> to deal some damage, maybe you’re coming in with your own personal touch this time.”</p><p>Deceit scoffed. “I didn’t release him. He was invited.”</p><p>“You’re lying.” Virgil growled.</p><p>“Am I? Were you there, to know how he made his way topside? Or even how he got stuck in the position he was confined to, before release…?” Deceit questioned. “Is there something you’d like to share with the group? No...no, I don’t think there is. After your last confession, I’m sure you’re <em> soooo </em> worn out.”</p><p>“Daddy sure does wear you out, hmmmm?” Remus popped up behind Virgil, giggling as Virgil hissed at him, and Roman shuddered and spoke up, “Do NOT say...Daddy..in that tone!”</p><p>“I’m only stating honest facts!” Remus stood up straight, slowly strutting back to his seat as Deceit sat back with a grin, silent and welcoming his words. Remus touched his chest, before leaning dramatically forward on the back of his chair, in a way that should send him falling forward into the table, but it didn’t. “Logan’s Bum over there already painted the picture before~ remember?” </p><p>He suddenly appeared behind Roman, hugging around his neck. “Split apart at the seams, for as a whole, we were too much!! Too complicated, too wild and chaotic, too...bootylicious~” he giggled and wiggled, as Roman rapidly yet pointlessly reached up to smack at him with both hands, but he was already gone.</p><p>He now stood between Logan and Patton. “You both know, that wasn’t the only split. We’re good, we’re evil, OH, woe is us--but WHO drew the LINE in the SAND?!”</p><p>He suddenly summoned a black crown, and placed it upon Patton’s head, who shrunk down more, as if it weighed him down.  Virgil stood, his chair screeching as he charged and grabbed Remus’ collar. The mustached Side only grinned as he was pulled close to the others face. He giggled, satisfied and amused as he watched him, and Virgil’s eyes attempted to burned holes in him. </p><p>“Why don’t you just stay put like before, huh?”</p><p>Remus giggled more. “You mean where you put me…? Nope, sorry--you had the keys to the cell last, and now they’re lost in the dark. Oh! And Deceit broke the lock after he lost his case in the court-room scenario.”</p><p>Deceit hissed faintly, rolling his eyes. “Boys, boys...do sit, let’s not reenact old arguments, hmm?”</p><p>The two stared one another down for a few more seconds longer, as Roman removed and tossed away the black crown, fixing Patton’s hair for him. Then Virgil and Remus took their seats once again.</p><p>“So you’re bringing up the split. Is this about grudges then?” Logan question.</p><p>“YOU’LL DIE IN SEVEN DAYS!” Remus burst with a demonic echo to his voice, that made half the table jump in surprise, black hair suddenly curtaining his face as he cackled, “NYAHHA!”</p><p>“If only that hair covered his mouth like his face.” Roman muttered, and Virgil just briefly laughed.</p><p>But Deceit was focused, and sat straighter as he answered Logan. “Oh yes, absolutely. I’m wasting my time enduring the ridiculous facade of purity that is this home to you perfect, <em> good </em>saps, just for a grudge. I’m just as small minded as you four.”</p><p>“Well whether the grudge is your focus or not, it is clear it’s there.” Logan assessed, and narrowed his gaze at Deceit, looking thoughtful for a moment.</p><p>“What’re you deducing there, Sherlock?” the snake asked.</p><p>“Your drive... You’re different. I may not claim myself an authority on emotions as I don’t bother involving myself with its complexities more than I must. But, I can notice it and at times understand how it might function in others. And you’re more driven by it than anytime before. What’s changed?” He questioned.</p><p>“Nothing.” Deceit’s smirk was tense as he answered. “...And everything.” </p><p>Logan sighed, shaking his head. “But you’re clearly emotional.”</p><p>“I have no emotions--ask Virgil.” he retorted shortly, looking over his gloved hand, as if checking nails that of course weren’t currently seen.</p><p>“We all have emotions. Even me. I may experience them differently from the likes of Patton or Virgil or Roman, but I experience them nonetheless.” Logan pointed out.</p><p>Deceit leaned forward, then rested his chin on his folded hand. “So now it’s...<b>we</b>, is it?”</p><p>“WE-WE!”</p><p>Ignoring the intrusive outburst like a pro, Logan didn’t confirm nor deny with a correction.</p><p>“No we!” Patton seemed to feel the need to deny, however. “We’re not...a group together! You two have no purpose but to hurt Thomas, we’re here to take care of him! We’re nothing alike!”</p><p>“Oh, The Powers That Be Patton.” Deceit he clapped thrice, then scoffed and rolled his eyes, snapping back to Patton. “Drawing lines once again. How long will it be until you do the same to the firm hand that cripples happiness?” he waved to Logan. “Or to the princely ball of wonder and magic that distracts Thomas from his <em> oh so precious </em> friends?”</p><p>“I-I.. I would never!” Patton denied with a firm hand on the table.</p><p>“Wouldn’t you? But look what you did...to these two?” he pointed to Roman and Remus with either hand. He then shrugged. “Once a beautiful force of boundless imagination...but it wasn’t the perfect picture of society's false purity, so you...tore him apart.”</p><p>“N-no! I didn’t! I would never...do that to someone…”</p><p>Deceit shook his head. “How much you all seem to forget, it's almost <em> humorous </em> how far you go to lie to yourselves even when I’m not involved.”</p><p>“We didn’t all forget. And you know there’s more to it, and the forces that split anything, than how you are phrasing it.” Logan countered, drawing back Deceit’s attention. “You know there is more out there around Thomas that has influenced us all, and we all have done our best to fulfill our purpose, whatever it takes. No one Side is solely to blame for the…’line drawn’ as you two put it.”</p><p>The gloved Side clapped four times then. “Purpose! Purpose, that is why we are here, for sole purposes! But it’s only according to how the methods work, and how one conforms to the norm, whether your purpose is allowed, correct?” </p><p>Everyone was silent, but Patton fiddled with his paw-sleeves, tugging them to stretch and tighten, seeming as if he wished to speak up, but he was...feeling...more and more unsure… Deceit always unnerved him, and some reasons were clear, while others were unclear...or perhaps, denied. He was feeling a great deal of blame, and was trying to deny it, because he wasn’t so sure...what was right and wrong in the here and now.</p><p>“So what are you gonna do, Dee, huh?” Virgil snapped suddenly, not really aware of his slip of an old nickname, which caused Deceit to shift in a minuscule manner, and Remus to giggle. “Just run your mouth until Thomas wakes up? Because I will happily kick you out of here then…”</p><p>“You would’ve thought for someone so determined to cover his true colors, you would’ve disguised all the dark shades to your...<em>style</em>,” he chuckled, “with something brighter. You act as if you hate us, and where we came from, and yet you still wear it...like a cloak.” Deceit pointed out, wiggling his fingers in Virgil’s direction. “Is that your choice? Or is a certain someone’s rules to blame?” he smirked, quirking a brow.</p><p>“Daddy still dressing you up!” Remus laughed, “What a little baby.” he said ‘baby’ in a deep voice, only for Roman to spit, “You are NO LONGER allowed to say DADDY!” Remus sung the word “Repression~!!” tauntingly.</p><p>“I support my sweet child in any style he wants to try out!” Patton put in defensively. “He’s always adorn-able to me!” he grinned to Virgil, who weakly smiled. But the latter was concerned, because a pun at a time like this had him suspecting Patton’s habit of guarding his true feelings by forcing feelings. And that was a more horrible pun than usual, so Patton was certainly pushing himself.</p><p>“You didn’t answer Virgil's question, Deceit. How long are you planning to do this?” Logan questioned.</p><p>“For I will certainly aid in the valiant, shining battle to return you both to your exile, once Thomas wakes up!” Roman interjected.</p><p>“Exile.” Deceit laughed, shaking his head.</p><p>“Roman, let’s not go so extreme, you know it's more complicated than that.” Logan interjected, as Roman complained about how the other two were evil and shouldn’t be around Thomas. Logan interjected that it wasn’t so simple.</p><p>“Why isn’t it, Logan?” Patton questioned, clearly feeling more and more lost and uncomfortable.</p><p>“Because, it can never be so black and white. Thomas may have been led to settle into a black and white outlook, but it’s not anywhere near accurate to the truth, and he’s still working toward accepting the many complicated layers of reality.” he explained.</p><p>“But they shouldn’t be here, because they don’t care! Patton got rid of them for a reason!” Virgil spoke up, and Logan looked at him and countered, “Like he did you?”</p><p>Virgil sat back, speechless, as Remus giggled, and did an ‘oop’ face.</p><p>“Choices were made, with the best of intentions, but there’s so much more to what was done, why it was done, how, and how the action affected everything within Thomas.” he continued, sighing, and looking around the table, settling briefly on Deceit, before continuing looking around, to his friends. “Every side...has a purpose. Even the ones put away.”</p><p>“Oh, please! What purposes, driving Thomas crazy with their disgusting drivel?!” Roman questioned, as Remus cackled about two D’s.</p><p>“His contributions," Logan waved to Remus as he stopped cackling, "have become far more disturbing and intrusive, yes. But they serve a purpose of allowing Thomas to reflect on life's chaotic possibility in abstracts in a safe place in his mind where he won’t be judged, and he has a chance to deny them without anyone judging him for even HAVING the thoughts...usually.” Virgil and Patton winced. “It gives him an idea of things that are wrong and should be avoided. But even then, on the rare occasion that Remus actually gets lucky--”</p><p>“Oh I wish~!”</p><p>“--he can actually offer interesting ideas, albeit usually a bit more matured. But Thomas may seek variety in time that toes Remus' territory, which will require teamwork. And limits…” he shot Remus a look then. “You have to remember, no matter how Intrusive he’s become, he was and still is a part of Creativity.”</p><p>“So, what...what purpose...could Deceit possibly serve..?” Patton asked, at a loss. Because, truly, that scaly Side just seemed to be his absolute opposite!</p><p>“You ask, and yet clues were laid out for some years now. You all just prefer to ignore,” he looked at Patton, then Virgil as he said, “or run away from what makes you uncomfortable.”</p><p>“Clues, hmm?” Logan asked, and Deceit nodded, so he tapped at his chin. “Well then, let’s reflect on your recent contributions over your past visits.”</p><p>“Lie to friends, lie to friends, selfishness, Done!” Virgil remarked. “We spent a whole episode in a court room, arguing and questioning wronging people Thomas cares about and risking losing them over something artificial! We settled it all, end of story.”</p><p>“<strong>You</strong> settled," Deceit suddenly growled, "and you STILL. MISSED. THE POINT!!” Deceit had raised his voice, and stood then, his composure changing as he glared at Virgil. “I understand YOUR purpose makes certain choices delicate subjects, but sometimes, just SOMETIMES, you could actually commit further to your role of redeemed Dark Side and stop hurting Thomas with your unending worries!”</p><p>Virgil was speechless, and wounded. He was stunned, mouth agape, and all others at the table, even Remus, seemed surprised. Remus himself almost seemed tamed, as he seemed concerned by the shift of the tension, or the tension had snapped him into a state of normalcy.</p><p>“Leave him alone! Virgil might go just a tad too far, but all he ever does is protect Thomas!” Patton defended, standing defiantly against Deceit, his tone of voice sounding more firm than it had been in the many tense minutes that had passed thus far. He almost sounded angry.</p><p>Deceit laughed, facing Patton. “Is that really all he ever does? Like he protected him with Remus? Or like how he’s protecting Thomas from the Void during this sudden and unnerving shift in the world by demanding he stress himself with WORK?!”</p><p>“D-don’t mention that place..!” Virgil suddenly spoke again.</p><p>“What place?” Roman questioned. </p><p>“The Void~. You’re the lucky side that avoided it, brother.” Remus muttered, his tone less lively, even if he still sung some of the words.</p><p>Virgil covered his ears, shaking his head. “No...no…”</p><p>“You remember it...don’t you, Virgil?” Deceit spoke with a dangerous softness to his voice.</p><p>“Shut up!”</p><p>“You remember the open emptiness, how alone it felt….leaving you in a chasm, yet crushing you like a tight space. The deafening silence, the feeling of no air if you didn't stay so very still…” Deceit described it slowly, an empty glaze to his eyes as he did so. “You remember when it was us three, stuck there?”</p><p>Virgil shook his head, but it was clear he did remember. Remus shuddered, seeming unusually solemn, and for once silent.</p><p>“...Now, imagine for me, if you can bear it… Imagine...being there, all on your own.”</p><p>“No!”</p><p>“Yes!” Deceit spat, eyes shining then. “The silence, the darkness, the nothingness! It’s unbearable, horrible, and I’ll be damned if a single soul or Side tries to tell me that ANYONE deserves <em>THAT!</em>”</p><p>He looked to Logan and Patton. “Lucky you two and Roman were saved such an experience. What about you, Logan? What does that all-knowing mind of yours know about The Void?”</p><p>Logan hesitated, but sat up straighter. “It is the corner of Thomas’ mind where, whenever he actually manages any sort of repression due to severe guilt or disgust or trauma, thoughts and feelings and...memories, parts of himself are put away, so he doesn’t have to think about it. At least not for some time. It’s just below the part of his mind where he contains what he IS aware of as what he considers dark or unwelcomed feelings and such. That is specifically the realm of the Dark Sides.”</p><p>“You forget, it takes a great deal of clawing and fighting, and willpower, to make it out of that Void to our Dark home.” Deceit critiqued, still standing, hands planted on the table. Virgil was still rocking himself faintly, Patton having stood during Logan’s explanation to go offer a reassuring touch once he realized a hug was too much for the anxious Side in his current state. But he was slowly calming enough, to shoot a shadowed gaze to Deceit. And the scaled Side looked right back at Virgil. “Can you imagine what Thomas did, after you all decided lying to <em> himself </em> was better than lying to his friends? He was so scared of himself, his own desires...his love for himself and his happiness and how it could hurt others and make him someone evil himself, that he...shoved me...so far...down…”</p><p>Virgil sat up straighter, and his brows furrowed almost in concern, before he controlled his outward reaction--his concern turned to a stern gaze.</p><p>“It took me time to claw my way out.”</p><p>Remus suddenly moved to sprawl across the table, half naked save for long socks and black and green puffy shorts, posing in a very ‘titanic’ fashion. “Clawed his way all the way to set me free~.”</p><p>“So Remus was payback.” Logan assessed matter-of-factly.</p><p>“He was a wakeup call.” Deceit almost growled. “One you all sorely needed, yet <em> still </em> didn’t <em> listen </em> to.”</p><p>“What were we even supposed to hear from his...visit?” Patton questioned, tone challenging.</p><p>Logan answered, however, for Deceit. “...That there is more to Thomas than us. And that we can’t continue looking at our contributions as simply good and evil.”</p><p>“How else are we meant to see them?! It is the Dark and the Light that drive us and make us who we are!” Roman spoke valiantly, hand reaching up dramatically, only for him to slump and wave his hand as he said, “Or do you expect some sort of Qui Gon Greyness up in this place?”</p><p>“Thomas could use the grey.” Deceit remarked, slowly taking his seat once more. “It’s either grey…” he looked to Virgil again, “..or the Void.”</p><p>“B-but...Thomas is THOMAS, the source of us, he can’t be shoved into the Void!” Patton pointed out.</p><p>“No, he can’t, but people have their own outward version of the Void--it’s called Depression.” Deceit responded tensely, eyeing Patton considerately. “...I’m aware that you strive to put every bit of energy into avoiding Dark emotions like that. But ignoring it will not fight it off.”</p><p>“Depression?” Roman gasped. “Not our Thomas, we can’t let him fall into something so horrible! How do we fight it off?!” he demanded to know, drawing his sword.</p><p>“By doing our best to prevent any causes for its presence. It is difficult to fight when it is present, and not a feeling that is so simple to handle. But forcing darkness out...is pointless. Because it will always be there, waiting for the light to dim for a time, so it can take it's turn.” Deceit explained. Suddenly, he took his hat off, which had them all raising their eyebrows. He ran his hand through brunette hair streaked with dirty blonde in some of the strands that lay across his forehead and the top of his head. The scales even traveled into some of his short hair on the side of his hair. He looked far more bare, and more vulnerable than any of the Sides had ever seen him.</p><p>“...Then what do you suggest..?” Virgil asked carefully.</p><p>“He can’t spend all this time, alone and cut off from normal contact with his friends and the world, doing nothing and wallowing. You are absolutely right. But he cannot endure a difficult, and terrifying time that makes the future seem scarier, only pushing himself to serve the worlds issued responsibilities and ridiculously heartless belief that all one is here for is to work until you die. You all managed, among yourselves, to discern that Thomas’ life cannot be living to work or working to live. And just as he must balance the work that helps him live as he deserves, he must also have a chance to only give a damn for himself.”</p><p>Patton let out a breath, as if he’d been holding it, and it seemed like something was dawning on him.</p><p>“Thomas needs to steal a few moments to take care of himself, indulge in distractions, in trivial happiness, in a completely different world beyond this complicated one, and a moment to free himself from the stifling nature of work. Care for others is admirable, but can he truly continue giving care to those he loves the way they deserve and the way he desires to, if he is left empty from the lack of loving himself?”</p><p>Patton swallowed, and shook his head. “No, he can’t… He gives so much, the sweet man that he is… And he struggles so much...b-because of me, just to do for himself…”</p><p>“It’s not all on you, Patton.” Logan reminded him.</p><p>“No, but I’m still to blame. My heart--I...I try to be in the right place, but I still fall short.” Patton crossed his arms, looking rather sad.</p><p>Deceit sighed, rolling his eyes. “And that, too, is because of purpose. You may be to blame, but that is all to do with your purpose. Why do you think we are at odds so much, you and I?” he implored.</p><p>Patton looked confused, thinking and considering. What...what was the reason? What was the purpose? “I don’t…”</p><p>“Well, Patton, it’s--” Logan began to explain, but Deceit gave a snaky hiss.</p><p>“He needs to realize it on his own.” he stated, and returned his gaze to Patton, who was now very nervous, on top of being confused. “Think, Patton. What is your purpose?”</p><p>“M-my purpose is to...guide Thomas morally, to be the best person for this world, to be happy with what he does, for friends and fans and family, and to be happy with what he puts out there. I am his happiness with what he puts out there with his heart, I’m his love for his friends and those that matter to him.” He spoke, and the further he explained, his voice became more urgent.</p><p>“You are his outward love. So, what am I?” Deceit pushed.</p><p>“You...you are...his...his…” he considered what all Deceit had done before, the moments and issues he appeared for, along with what he was here for now. Present to ease Thomas’ guilt over doing something he wanted to do instead of being there for Joan. Encouraging serving his own desires by going to the callback, even if it meant lying to his friends to do so and avoiding an evening that might provide a few depressive days. And now, demanded that Thomas be allowed to just do the small, the trivial, but the happy...if only to ease his mind towards the storms outside.</p><p>“His...inward love.”</p><p>Deceit, for just a moment, looked small, and innocent, as he too let out a withheld breath. But he took a breath in, and resigned his features once more. He nodded, though, as confirmation.</p><p>Roman and Virgil seemed confused, though Virgil slowly understood, and lowered his gaze in some sort of shame. But Roman just looked at them all, before focusing on Deceit. “That’s why you pushed me, to ensure I would lead Thomas to the callback. I’m the closest to a self-serving Side standing topside with Thomas…. But, the lying!”</p><p>“Lies can ease the harshness. They’re not perfect, but they’re not impure simply because you say they are.” Deceit retorted. “I don’t look for any of you to change, as that’s clearly difficult for some, if not most, of you. I don’t even expect...acceptance, of any presence or contribution. I’ve played my roll this long, it is who and what I am, and this snake is perfectly satisfied, no need for change here either…” he smiled weakly, but continued, smile faltering. “But what I DO expect, is for me to not be the only one having to fight off Thomas’ own Void. I endured it, on my own, and THAT...that is true darkness, true evil… And I will not stand by and let anything like it consume all that we are...all that Thomas is. And if I must lie and deceive to earn just a moment of selfish happiness for him, then I will do so.”</p><p>The table was silent, Remus returned, though still half-naked, to his chair. Roman, Logan, Patton, and Virgil shared looks with one another in the silence, before Deceit spoke once more.</p><p>“But surely it’s not too much to ask, that I not be alone in serving such a purpose, and that occasions of self-serving practices with Thomas won't be filled with judgment. I could suffer the shadows, if you would just...<em> listen </em> to me once in a while.” He implored to the main four.</p><p>Logan took a breath and sighed, looking to his three friends, and then shrugging. “I...think it would be perfectly possible to adjust my charts and schedules, to offer Thomas more personal time.”</p><p>“I could...stomach a lie or two, if it meant Thomas wasn’t enduring sadness needlessly…” Roman offered. </p><p>“I can...make better room for some reasonable self-love. Because Thomas...he’s capable of being his greatest self, while still practicing...self-preservation.” Patton reasoned, glancing pointedly to Deceit with his last word.</p><p>Gazes flitted to Virgil then, as he leaned forward against the table. Whatever he wished to say, it was taking him a bit of time to manage to gather the words. But finally, he looked to Remus and Deceit. “...I can understand and try to...accept, despite our past and what I’ve felt...that if I can find a way to look out for Thomas properly despite doing so harmfully in the beginning, then maybe...you guys can do the same, if you actually truthfully want to and commit to trying...”</p><p>Deceit grabbed his hat once more, and stood, donning it again. “Fair enough… And when Thomas wakes...if he so chooses, you will accept any choice of relaxing in lieu of working? At least for today?” he questioned, fixing his gloves, and his shoulder cape.</p><p>“Yes, we will.” Logan promised, standing. The table vanished, the chairs doing the same when the others stood, and Logan crossed the space to offer his hand for a handshake, to Deceit. “I personally think a balance can be found, for that better and optimum Thomas I mentioned.” he grinned.</p><p>“Was that humor?” Remus gawked. “Oh, Logan-humor is worse than Patton-humor!”</p><p>“Oh don’t be so hard on him, he tries!” Roman defended, but couldn’t help almost laughing, the brothers sharing a look, before Remus wiggled half naked, making Roman roll his eyes and look away.</p><p>Deceit took Logan’s hand and shook it firmly. “We’ll see how well the balance is kept.” he remarked, tone doubtful. He trusted they would do better for Thomas. But he didn’t imagine true balance would be met. No, it was back to the Dark Side for him and Remus. And that was just fine.</p><p>“Thank you...by the way, Deceit… I-I’m sorry, that I’ve made things so difficult, that I’ve...hurt any of you, or Thomas, trying to do what I thought was best. I...I don’t...believe anymore that it was deserved. I want you to...know that.” Patton stepped towards Deceit, though still left him his space, for them both. Who knows if they would forever be at odds, but it was certainly hard to avoid the awkward pool between them.</p><p>“No need to thank me… I’m simply serving my purpose… Now...Thomas should be waking up soon.” he stated, and Remus suddenly urged Roman to join him in the dream-scape for some tomfoolery, and he resisted at first, but slowly gave in. Deceit watched them go, with a faint smile, which was almost mirrored on Patton’s face. </p><p>Virgil and Patton moved to offer hugs to one another (Patton of course initiating, but Virgil could see Patton's need as well), then dragged a somewhat unwilling Logan into it, giving him props for his hard work deciphering things so brilliantly as usual. Patton couldn’t stop gushing, and Virgil just said, ‘cool job’.</p><p>Deceit looked to the dark corner of Thomas’ mind then, like a shadow filling the corner near the kitchen of the formulated living room. He could feel it’s draw. It was still his home, given the state of things. He didn’t bother stealing another glance at the others. He simply took a step towards it, and started to dip into the dark.</p><p>“Dee, wait!”</p><p>There was a jolt in his chest at hearing the nickname again, but Deceit contained himself, rising back up to face Virgil, who had stepped away from Patton and Logan (Patton basically clinging to Logan, who patted the Dad-Side's head as he could see he clearly needed some physical comfort). Deceit stared Virgil down, the two of them equally guarded in their gaze, and in their features.</p><p>Virgil stopped a few steps away, taking a few breaths as if to calm some anxiousness bubbling in his chest. But finally he sighed, and spoke. “...I may have been...wrong...with how I left.”</p><p>“There’s no need for this, Virgil, so don’t--” he tried to dismiss what was clearly an oncoming guilt-ridden speech and the seeming confession to come, but Virgil wouldn’t let him.</p><p>“Just, let me speak, please.” he retorted, words coming out in a snap, despite the 'please'. He rubbed his temples, then ran his hands through his hair, brushing it back in the process. “I worry, I over-think, I try to protect, and everything was so chaotic down there, it just...it...it made me worse, and it made me lash out, which gave Thomas such bad bouts of anxiety. You two never could calm me down for long. One of you might manage it and the other would just set me off again, it was just--it wasn’t <em> good </em> for me anymore, there...in that place, in that role as a chaotic Side. So, yeah, we lashed out, I left… And I found out it was easier up here, the more I got involved, the more...accepted I became. It’s...so much easier up here, and I can’t regret the choice I made for myself...but I…”</p><p>Deceit just watched him with a stoic expression, even if his eyes were staring with an enraptured intensity as he listened to the Side that had once been such a good friend. The beating heart clad in light blue wasn’t the first to befriend Virgil…a different heart had claimed that friendship first, even if he’d held on too tight or not enough.</p><p>He stepped closer then. “Look, I...can do better. I can’t say I’ll support every lie you want Thomas to tell, every selfish impulse you want him to give in to...but if those three could work with me, and help me work better for Thomas, I...I think I could try the same...for you.”</p><p>Deceit was stoic a moment longer, before donning the guarded smirk. “Oh, don’t put yourself out on my account, Virgil, I know Pretty Little Liars was never your favorite.”</p><p>“I’m serious, Dee. Just...stop with the mask, alright?” Virgil responded, voice softer.</p><p>“But I always wear them so fabulously, you seriously expect me to--” he chuckled, only to choke on his breath after Virgil muttered, “Oh my god, you stubborn ass” and then embraced him firmly and suddenly.</p><p>It lasted only seconds, but it shut up Deceit's guarded words, and Virgil backed off quickly, fixing his hair to better fall in his face as usual. Deceit just stood there, in his shock, a moment longer. “And, uh, like Patton said...thank you...for looking out for Thomas.”</p><p>The scaly Side cleared his throat, fixing his cape again. “You better be careful, I could get used to the praise.” he reasoned, stepping back towards the dark once again. He eyed Virgil a moment, before offering a half smile, and dipping out once again.</p><p> </p><p>The dreams that followed were wild, and seemed to echo the words and sentiment of the Side-struggle therein. Kittens, puppies, and glittering snakes roamed through Thomas’ dreams, whilst a frazzled Patton dressed in an apron was removing the limbs from the walls, Logan failing to cook cookies in the kitchen. A flying octopus and lion tussled as they floated around the living room, on a much smaller scale than was natural, only to be caught in purple glowing spiderwebs.</p><p>And when Thomas woke, he was confused and frazzled, but left with a need to clear and busy his mind with suitable distractions. He considered work, taking up the notepad, but with Patton standing by, he slowly sat it down. Instead, he took up his laptop and busied himself with a game that worked his mind and pleased his enjoyment of story and magic and art and plot. Roman muttered in the background, a plot where Thomas himself featured more accurately as the hero. He eventually ordered a small pizza, with a reasonable tip to the delivery man, Logan reasoning that he’d had enough money for that and a few future deliveries, so long as he balanced it out. </p><p>And Virgil reassured Thomas that it would all be alright after Thomas had ventured into a news article he shouldn't have. When Thomas’ mind began to wander too far beyond his little bubble, Virgil joined him, the two worrying to an extent, before collecting their thoughts and breathing it out together.</p><p>And the evening faded into ease, the cloud that had been threatening the young man before his nap having vanished for now. Movies and meme sharing busied the rest of the Youtubers night with distractions and distant friends, until 3 in the morning hit, and slumber was coaxing him once more. He got his shower, brushed his teeth, and plugged his phone up before putting it on silent.</p><p>He climbed into bed, covering half of himself in the blanket, as his body relaxed more and more, like a balloon silently letting out air. It had been rough this morning, but after some much needed rest and space for his mind, Thomas' day and indulgences seemed to ease the strain like warmth easing worked muscles. His mind was dipping further and further into the mist of sleep, a smile on his face as within his mind, the others smiled back.</p><p>Logan, adjusting his glasses. Patton, wearing his paws and meowing before giggling. Roman using Remus as a horse as he rode side-saddle (Remus enjoying his role, unsurprisingly), and Virgil wearing one of his rare, tender smiles.</p><p>And then the scaled Side, staring, as if deep into Thomas’ soul...before he smirked, and tipped his hat off to Thomas.</p><p>He was just there, wrapped in that mist like a blanket...slumber...coming...once more...and…</p><p> </p><p>He sat up so suddenly, a familiar chuckle echoing in his head, as he suddenly called out.</p><p> </p><p>"JANUS!?!"</p>
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